Trans...from the outside

So last night was a different experience for me. I joined an intellectual discussion group. The group was a very ecclectic group of people...lesbians, gay men, cisgendered "straight" people and me. The discussion was centered around two trans artists....an ftm and an mtf. To make a long story short sure, I could have disclosed last night, but I chose not to. The person who invited me knew and that was it.

So I went stealth. What I found interesting was discussing transgendered issues and such, as a presenting cisguy. They had small facts cut out and distributed around the room about the hardships trans people face...things cisgendered people take for granted or don't really even think about, such as restroom usage, paying $1000s in therapy to have someone tell you something you already knew, etc etc.

They discussed how hard it must be to be trans and various things like that. What I found to feel strange, was that I knew what all of those things on the fact sheets felt like. They spoke of female vs male socialization and how some trans people try to overcome the socialization with which they were raised and I spoke from my own feelings and point of view to the group. One woman thanked me for being so knowledgable over trans issues and told me she enjoyed my discussion yet, they had no idea I was trans.

Anyhow, this post may sound like quite a bit of rambling, but I felt the need to share. It's a group I plan on attending each time they have a discussion, because their topics vary. One day, I may disclose but for now, I see no need.

Male Bonding

Yesterday, I was called "man," "dude," and "bro"...all within about a 5 minute timespan by the guy at the shop, who was making my sandwich for lunch.

Honestly? I had no idea how to respond. I think it's cool and all, but still find myself a bit unsure as to how to "act" when this happens. He handed me my sandwich and I said, "Thanks man. Take it easy." He nodded.

So I am assuming this was correct? I know I'm not the only transman who feels lost when this happens? Do we as transmen, worry too much about the elusive "male bonding?"

Your thoughts?